I woke up not too late but also not early. My Mom dashed to my room to call me for breakfast. I have to prep myself for some stuff. While eating, I am reminded of the news which had me preoccupied for the last three days. Someone did commit suicide.
S U I C I D E Yeah, you have read it right. Just these three freaking words and I’m out to myself again, entering a new dimension wherein I have to put my feet into the shoes of the late person. Thinking I can understand the reason behind it. ‘Why did he do that?’. But I’m aware of the fact that it is impossible to comprehend the thoughts which catapulted him for the last days of his life. He was a Team Leader from my previous company, he has two children both girls and a single dad. According to his friends, he was exuberant, energetic and lighthearted. They were caught off guard when they heard he committed suicide. For them, it is a wake-up call. Yes, it is. How may cases of suicide you want to hear and see just to be aware of the fact that it is not something we can be aloof of. It is not something we can schedule for the next day because we don’t feel like doing it today. No. It is something we should be encompassed with.
Later that day, I was doing my blog, not yet done welcoming those buzzing thoughts, I decided to browse in the internet. I opened Thought Catalog. My eyes immediately noticed an article which is entitled ‘I have a bad day and it’s okay’. In which the writer wrote sometimes she would wake up fine and tomorrow she would feel desolate not knowing why she’s feeling that way. She said that it’s okay to have a bad day as long as she knows what to do and she’s kind of used to it. She added that for her, it’s not a bad day, it’s a mental health day which we should embrace. I was taken aback with those statements. It was like bread and butter when I have finally read that because it was equated to my thoughts which kept pounding my mind like an amateur boxer. It turns out that the writer of the mentioned article has depression and anxiety.
What is depression and anxiety? According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America, Depression is a condition in which a person feels discouraged,sad, hopeless or disinterested in life in general. Anxiety is excessive worry about a number of different things. Person who has anxiety finds it hard to control their worry. Depression and Anxiety were the reason behind the suicide of my friend last year and I wonder maybe these might be the reason behind the suicide of the late person I am addressing above. Actually, two of my friends were killed by it. It was an agonizing experience witnessing your friends succumbed by the mouth of the terrain preconceiving that it will be the last moment to glimpse at their faces.
From that moment, I have been somewhat a person who wants to raise awareness when it comes to mental health and to people who has mental illness. I remember the day I was browsing on twitter reading tweets as I’ve always been doing everyday. I was drawn to specific tweet. ‘I wanna die’. I checked it out. The person who posted it was my workmate on my previous company. She’s a receptionist and gorgeous lady. I have a crush on her since the day I saw her on our site. She’s an eye-catcher I admit. Even my co-teammates adored her. I checked her account, read all her tweets and it dawned to me that she also has depression and anxiety. She has been in taking medicines for it. She’s suicidal. And i think it wasn’t hard to understand what she meant on her tweets even it were sublime. I immediately messaged her, to think that she didn’t know me, I didn’t care at all. I just followed what my heart urged me to do. And I said to her these words..
(non-verbatim).. “Hi, I know I’m a stranger to you but whatever circumstances you’re going through, I want you to know I’m here to listen.” She then replied which I was not expecting at all. “Thank you.” she said. From that day on, I keep on messaging her whenever I see some tweets from her. I wanted her to know that she’s not alone in her battle. That there are people who are ready to listen. Also, I’m sending her words of encouragement like
“You are beautiful”
“You are brave”
“You are strong”
“Congrats, you’re awake”
.. words that will, as far as I know, strengthen the pillars of her tenacity to live.
I was eating my late dinner with my friends that day. We were laughing, throwing jokes at each other and talking about anything under the sun. Our conversation somehow deepened and our attention reverted to Eric (not his true name). Why? Because he just admitted to us that he has anxiety. And I was like W H A T ?!. I mean Eric is the quirkiest, one of the most jocular person I know. But he has anxiety. That jolly friend of mine. It’s not discernible. You know that’s the thing about depression and anxiety. When you’re in the middle of the crowd, you appear more than fine. Then, all of sudden, it would slander when you’re alone, leaving you defenseless.
I think it’s my calling to be a channel to help raise awareness to certain causes like this. I mean, hello, I am surrounded by people who has depression and anxiety. And those people are mainly my friends.I believe not having an organization for now would not hinder me to help them. Aside from it’s my passion, I think my body system won’t take it anymore to hear another news that someone committed suicide. It’s just too much.It’s unbearable.
So before anything happens,may God forbids, Let us all take action and choose to listen to people who needs our ears and not our filthy tongues to judge.
Hi guys! if you’re reading this, and you know in yourself something’s bothering you right now. . I’m here to listen. You can vent out on me, or just comment down below whatever you’re going through. AJA!